There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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