we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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