why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
