Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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