My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize