I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
