i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
