brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
