I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
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Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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