You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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