I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
