I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
