Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
