I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
