It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I fill condoms, not promises.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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