Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
