if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
