u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
