from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
