break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize