so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
