i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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