The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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