My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
