I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
