i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
