I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
