Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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