I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
