Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
