Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
