All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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