What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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