he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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