I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
