I heard we made out
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
