whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
