I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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