My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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