I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
