Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
