I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
