shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
