This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
