So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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