I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
