Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I met the friendliest cop last night
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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