Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
