I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
