You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
