She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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