omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
