There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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