Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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