On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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