Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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