I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
