i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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