Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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