508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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